How to Deal with Your Boyfriend Going on a Stag Do: The Initial Reaction

When you first hear your boyfriend is attending a stag do, you might feel a rush of assorted emotions – from worry to anger, or even jealousy. This reaction is normal, and it’s important to remember that it’s okay to feel this way. The key is not to react in haste. Give yourself time to process the news before discussing it with your significant other. Consider your feelings, and what you’re exactly upset about. Is it the idea of him partying, or is it the fear of him potentially being unfaithful? Understanding the source of your feelings will make it easier to express them later.

Understanding the Nature of a Stag Do

Understanding a stag do is essential in dealing with your boyfriend’s participation in one. Originally, stag dos were meant to symbolize the ‘last night of freedom’ for the groom-to-be. However, this tradition has evolved into a fun and often humorous outing meant to strengthen the bond among friends. The activities involved can range from a simple night out, excursions, or even weekend trips. Bear in mind that while the British pop culture often amplifies wild night scenarios, many blokes are now planning a stag do that doesn’t follow this pattern.

FUN FACT:The furthest city from London where you can spend a stag or hen do in is Auckland, New Zealand – 18,326km away (based on cities of a million plus people).

Not All Stag Dos Are Wild

Despite the common stereotype, not all stag dos are wild and out of control. In fact, many are quite the opposite. Stag dos can involve activities such as hiking, paintballing, or even wine tasting. Remember that it’s ultimately about the groom and what he enjoys. While some parties have a reputation for getting out of hand, it’s essential to understand that not all follow this pattern. A stag party can vary significantly, depending on the group, their values, and their plans.

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Stag Dos as a Bonding Experience

Stag dos are primarily seen as an opportunity for men to bond with their friends. It’s a time where everyone can gather, celebrate the groom’s upcoming wedding, and share memories. During these events, friends usually engage in stag do activities that seem fun, adventurous, or meaningful to the groom. This could be anything from visiting an escape room, going camping, attending a football match to going on a fishing trip.

While some may involve alcohol, not all activities would lead to wild partying. Understanding that these events are chances for your boyfriend to spend quality time with his friends can help ease some anxiety.


The Expert Guides of Local Stag Do Companies Can Help Avoid Big Problems

Stag do companies are often well-equipped with expert guides who understand the dynamics of such events and know how to handle various situations. They know where one should and shouldn’t go, and they can help avoid pitfalls that could potentially turn a fun night into a problematic situation. Therefore, while your boyfriend chooses a stag do company, make sure he recognises the importance of having an expert guide for the event to ensure a safer, worry-free time.

Trust: The Bedrock of Your Relationship

Trust is a fundamental element in any relationship, and this becomes even more crucial when your boyfriend decides to go on a stag do. Without trust, all kinds of anxieties and insecurities can make both parties miserable. In this scenario, being open and honest with each other can pave the road to strengthening your relationship. Remember, it’s completely normal to have some concerns, but it’s how you manage and resolve them that counts.

How do You Deal with Your Boyfriend Going on a Stag Do

Expressing Your Trust

Expressing your trust in your boyfriend as he embarks on a stag do is important. You can do this by affirmatively verbalizing your confidence in his character and acknowledging his history of responsible behavior. This is not only shown through words but also by refraining from excessive checking in or questionable behavior that may make him feel monitored. It’s crucial to highlight that trust is based on actions, so continue to show him your trust by respecting his independence and personal decisions.

PRO TIP:If you and your partner are arguing, take a quick break and each of you write down one thing you want from your argument. Thai should make everything clearer and easier to resolve.

Building Trust

Building trust is a process and it’s essential to any successful relationship. Start by being honest about your feelings and expectations regarding the upcoming stag do. Be reliable and accountable in your everyday actions, displaying a consistency that breeds trust. Remember, trust isn’t built overnight but over time during happy moments and challenging situations. Practising trust-building activities, like sharing personal stories and secrets, can also help. It’s crucial to build this foundation of trust before a potentially challenging event, such as a stag do.

Managing Your Anxiety

When your boyfriend goes on a stag do, it’s normal to feel a sense of anxiety. It can stem from fear of possible negative consequences, or even just from loneliness.

Managing Your Anxiety: When your boyfriend goes on a stag do, it's normal to feel a sense of anxiety. It can stem from fear of possible negative consequences, or even just from loneliness.

However, it’s important not to let this anxiety overcome you. There are several methods you can utilize to manage your anxiety effectively, and transform this period of time into an opportunity for self-growth and empowerment.

Engaging in Self-Care – Keeping Busy During the Stag Do

Managing your anxiety effectively during your boyfriend’s stag do is crucial and one way to do this is to keep yourself busy. Look at it as an opportunity to indulge in solo activities you enjoy but usually don’t have time for. This can include:

  • Reading a book
  • Going for a nature walk
  • Starting a new TV series
  • Engaging in self-pampering like a spa day
  • Catching up with friends
Engaging in Self-Care - Keeping Busy During the Stag Do

Enjoy the Alone Time

While your boyfriend is away on a stag do, seize the opportunity to cherish some alone time. This could be a chance to catch up on a book you’ve been meaning to read, or watch a series he isn’t particularly interested in. Perhaps, you could take a small trip of your own, or indulge in a relaxing spa day. Use this time constructively to engage in activities that please you and help rejuvenate you. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder, and a little me-time never hurt anyone.

PRO TIP:You’ll find that keeping busy not only distracts you but also enhances your overall mood. It’s all about changing your perspective and making the situation work for your benefit.

Seeking Support

Reaching out to friends or family can be comforting when your boyfriend is away. Sharing your concerns and feelings with them can alleviate any stress or worry you might be feeling. Additionally, support can also come from professional therapists or counselor if your worry is becoming overwhelming. Remember, it’s okay to seek help when you need it. People around you can offer insights based on their own experience, which might be handy in navigating through the situation.

TRAVEL TIP:Don’t bring three or four adaptors. Bring one adaptor and an extension. It’s much easier to manage and you can share with friends.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is a crucial step when your boyfriend is going on a stag do. It’s not about controlling or restraining your partner, but about respecting and understanding each other’s comfort zones. Open communication and mutual agreements play a key role in this aspect. Being clear about your expectations can help alleviate any unnerving feelings you might have and introduce a sense of security in your relationship.

Open Communication

Open communication is crucial in any relationship, more so when dealing with potentially stressful events like your boyfriend’s stag do. Discuss your feelings and worries honestly, but respectfully. Remember to listen actively as well. He may also have worries about the event. This mutual sharing fosters understanding and empathy, making it easier to find a compromise that respects both parties’ feelings and bounds.

Mutual Agreement

Mutual Agreement is essential for all couples. You and your boyfriend need to be on the same page about his stag do. Have a frank discussion about acceptable behavior, curfews, communication, and any other important details. Reach a mutual understanding that respects both your feelings and his needs for the stag do. Remember, this isn’t about exerting control, but negotiation that can also be applied in other areas of your relationship to ensure respect, understanding, and harmony.

Dealing with Post-Stag Do Scenarios

After the stag do is over, your boyfriend has returned, and life is returning to normal, it’s still important to process and deal with the post-stag do scenarios. This phase can be multilayered, depending on the various aspects of the stag do, your reaction to it, and the behaviour of your boyfriend. It may not be overshadowed by worries of what might happen, but it is critical in strengthening your relationship and trust post stag do.

Understanding the Recovery Period

It’s important to understand that recovery from a Stag Do can take several days, sometimes even a week. This is especially true if the event involved a lot of drinking and late nights. Your boyfriend might be tired, hungover, or a bit imbalanced during this time. Showing patience and understanding can go a long way. Try not to bombard him with questions immediately after the event. Give him some time to recoup physically and mentally before he shares the details with you.

Open Dialogue

After the stag do, it is essential to have an open dialogue with your boyfriend. Voice any concerns or thoughts without blaming him for any negative feelings you may have experienced during his absence. Ask about his trip sincerely and express any feelings of anxiety or insecurity that the event may have stirred within you. Remember, these conversations should be conducted in a calm and respectful manner to promote understanding and emotional connection between both parties.

Appreciating Your Boyfriend

After the stag do, reassess your feelings. Did your concerns materialize, or did your boyfriend behave responsibly? If your fears were unwarranted, appreciating your boyfriend becomes crucial. Acknowledge his responsibility, honesty, and maturity. Share your relief, express your love and importantly, thank him for respecting the boundaries and trust of your relationship. This not only strengthens your bond but also boosts his commitment towards you in future scenarios like these. Remember, acknowledgment and gratitude can do wonders in building a stronger relationship.


My boyfriend’s going on a stag do, and I’m worried. Is this normal?

Absolutely, it’s normal to have worries when your partner is heading off on a stag do. These feelings of concern emerge from fondness and care for your partner, which aren’t negative emotions. However, it’s crucial to address these feelings, have open conversations with your partner about it, and not let them cloud your peace of mind. Remember, trust is inherent in every strong relationship, and understanding the nature of a stag do can ease your worries considerably.

How can I discuss my concerns about the stag do with my boyfriend?

Discussing your concerns about the stag do with your boyfriend requires open and honest communication. Start your conversation when both of you are in a calm state of mind. Clearly express your feelings and apprehensions, and avoid sounding judgmental.

IMPORTANT:Remember, it is crucial to listen and understand his perspective as well. It’s about finding a common ground rather than dictating what should or should not be done.

What if I don’t trust my boyfriend going on a stag do?

Trust is the foundation of a relationship and concerns over a stag do could indicate a deeper trust issue. Here’s how you can address it:

  • Start with self-reflection: Try to understand the root of your distrust. Is it due to past experiences or are there other reasons?
  • Open communication: Constructive dialogue is crucial. Express your concerns to your boyfriend without blaming him, and stress the importance of his reassurances.
  • Seek professional help if needed: If distrust persists, consider seeking help from a relationship counselor to explore and address these feelings.

Are all stag dos wild and unruly?

No, not all stag dos are necessarily wild and unruly. While media often depicts stag dos as drunken escapades, it’s highly dependent on the group’s preferences. Some might prefer a tranquil fishing trip or a weekend hiking trip. It’s important to remember that a stag do is essentially a celebration of friendship and the groom’s upcoming marriage, and different groups will celebrate in different ways. It’s crucial to discuss the nature of the event with your partner to understand their specific situation.

Are all stag dos wild and unruly?

How can I distract myself when my boyfriend’s on a stag do?

Keeping yourself busy during your boyfriend’s stag do can be a great distraction. Consider trying new activities you’ve always wanted to do. Perhaps schedule a spa day or a meet-up with your girlfriends. Organize a movie night or plan a mini home project. Read a book you’ve been meaning to dig into, indulge in your hobby or start a new fitness routine. These activities not only keep you occupied, but also contribute positively to your well-being. Remember, self-care is important. You don’t always need to rely on others for entertainment or comfort.

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How can we strengthen our relationship post the stag do?

Strengthening your relationship after the stag do can be a rewarding process. Discuss the experience openly, focusing on positive aspects of the time you each had separately. Reconnecting through shared activities is also beneficial. It’s an ideal opportunity to appreciate your partner’s safe return home and applaud their respect for your concerns about the event. Remember, life experiences, including the stag do, can positively guide your relationship toward maturity and mutual respect.

How can we strengthen our relationship post the stag do?


Get involved with the itinerary early. The best stag do locations have a huge variety of things to do. So, with a little sly influence, you can steer your man and his mates away from things you don’t feel comfortable with.

In conclusion, coping with your boyfriend’s stag do can become easier when you understand the nature of these events, build and express trust, manage your anxiety, set boundaries, and prepare for post-stag do scenarios. It’s normal to feel a bit uneasy, but remember it is also an opportunity for you to enjoy your own company, engage in self-care, or seek support from friends. Open communication and mutual agreements can set the stage for a healthier relationship. Continue to appreciate each other and understand that each experience adds strength to your relationship.

Veronika Tomasikova

Stag expert since 2019 Veronika has dedicated herself to exploring and sampling all the adrenaline-filled activities, bars and clubs to ensure only the best make the cut! With over 3100 Bachelor Parties organised her know-how guarantees an Epic trip!