So, whether you’re a first-time best man and looking for advice or just looking for a refresher on what exactly your role is for the wedding, read on to learn how to be the best man you can be.

What Does a Best Man Do?

It’s always a great honour when the groom-to-be asks you to be their best man. It shows they think of you with the highest respect and love. But what exactly is your role as a best man? 

The Role of the Best Man – Definition

Here is everything you need to know about the role of a best man before, during and after the wedding.

FUN FACT:In ancient Germanic tribes, the role of the best man would be to fight off any attackers or rival suitors of the bride.

Pre-Wedding Duties

One of the first things you will need to do in the role of best man is planning the stag party. You will want to sit down with the groom and decide on a guest list. You can then decide where you want to go for the stag, what the group will want to do and then you can look at different activities.

It’s worth thinking about what budget you will have before you book anywhere for the weekend or night. Talk to the others attending the stag so you know what they will be willing to contribute. Remember that ultimately the luxury stag party is about the groom and ensuring he has a memorable, fun experience.

Planning the Stag Do. Man sitting front of the computer.

Helping the Groom Prep for His Big Day

Your main role as best man is to ensure the groom is happy and ready to get married. Whether he needs help writing his speech, choosing his suit or finding the right accommodation for the night before his wedding, you will be there to help with any task that the groom needs assistance with.

You will be his right-hand man and will be there to make sure wedding planning isn’t too tasking in the run-up to the big day.

Assistance with Pre-Wedding Planning

Another part of your role as best man will be assisting the groom with all pre-wedding planning. Whether that is going to help him find the right wedding suits to assisting him in choosing the wedding rings, you will be there as a helping hand ensuring that everything is planned to perfection. 

Picking Out Suits and Attire for the Groom and Groomsmen

As a best man, you will likely go along to any suit fittings with the rest of the wedding party. You may even get a say on which suits you think would work best for you and the other groomsmen. You may likely have to try multiple suits on and give your thoughts on which one is right for you all. You also may help the groom to choose the best suit for the big day too.

Picking Out Suits and Attire for the Groom and Groomsmen: 
Stylish multiethnic groom and groomsmen standing on embankment and smiling on wedding day.

Rehearsal Dinner and Engagement Party

It’s likely that as part of your role as best man, you will be there along with the rest of the wedding party for the rehearsal dinner. You will be advised on what exactly you will need to do during the rehearsal and will enjoy dinner with the closest family members. You will also need to be part of any engagement party.

TRAVEL TIP:Remember to convert money to Euros or Dollars before you go and remember how much you have to spend.

Organizing Transportation to Wedding Venue(s)

Another part of the wedding planning process will be organising the transportation to the venue. It might be the case that you need to organise transportation for the groom and his bride or you may just need to sort wedding transportation for you and the groomsmen. It’s important to book early so you get the best choice and price.

Providing Emotional Support to the Groom

Getting married is stressful and it’s likely the groom may have some concerns or even reservations in the run-up to the big day. Therefore, you will be there to provide emotional support to the groom. You can encourage and lift their spirits as well as calm them before they walk down the aisle.

Providing Emotional Support to the Groom: The Best Man Talking to the Groom before the Wedding

Wedding Day Duties

When the big day arrives, you will be there with the groom from the moment they wake up until they walk down the aisle to their bride. Therefore, you will need to provide support and help them with any final errands that morning. From cooking them breakfast to helping them get changes, you will be there for the groom.

Supporting the Groom. Men in Black Suit Getting Ready for a Wedding.

Overseeing the Ushers

The groom will likely have other ushers too. You should help to ensure they get ready in time and know exactly what they need to do. For example, a couple of ushers should transport the flowers to the venue. Guide and support them on the day too so that they enjoy the wedding too.

Handling the Rings

As the best man, you will likely need to keep the wedding rings safe. The groom will give you them in the morning and you will need to handle the rings when necessary during the service. It’s an important part of the role of the best man and care and consideration need to be taken.

Delivering the Best Man Speech

Once the bride and groom have said their rows, it will be time for the wedding breakfast and then the best man speech. This is often one of the most daunting tasks for the best man. When writing the best man speech, it’s best to look back at your relationship with the groom. Discuss how you met, tell a funny story or two and then it’s time to talk about the bride and groom.

Delivering the Best Man Speech. Emotional Bride and Groom During a Wedding Ceremony.

Remember to thank them for giving you the role and then deliver the speech on the day as calmly as possible. 

Assisting with the Reception

It’s likely your role will see you have to assist at the reception. Whether that is helping to guide guests to their tables, getting drinks for the guest or showing everyone the way to the dance floor, you will be offering your assistance to make sure everything runs smoothly for the bride and groom.

Participating in Photographs with Bride, Groom, and Bridal Party

Another part of your role will be to take pictures with the bride and groom and the rest of the bridal party. You may need to help organise the photos too so that the happy couple end up with the best photos to look back and remember their special day.

Participating in Photographs with Bride, Groom, and Bridal Party: Groom Being Held by His Best Men

After The Ceremony Has Taken Place

Just because the wedding is finished doesn’t mean your job is done. There are a few more tasks for you to complete. Some of these are traditional, and all of them are helpful.

Returning rented attire for groom and Groomsmen on Time

After the wedding has taken place, you will likely have to make sure to collect the rented attire from all the groomsmen and the groom. You will then have to take it back on time to the store and get any potential deposit back for the groom. It’s a good idea to make sure it’s all in good condition so that the groom doesn’t end up with any charge on return. 

Assisting With cleaning Up After Reception

After the newlyweds have danced the night away, you will likely assist with the cleanup after the reception. You will want to ensure nothing such as wedding gifts have been left behind and that the reception venue is left in good condition. You want to spare the bride and groom from having to do any cleaning on their first day as a married couple.

Sending Thank You Notes from Bride & Groom to Guests & Vendors

You may also get involved with sending thank you notes from the bride and groom. You may offer your services by handing them out or posting them to the right addresses. That will save the newlyweds from having to take on these challenging tasks in their first few weeks of married life. 

Making Sure All Gifts are Picked Up From the Reception Site

The bride and groom will likely have been showered with gifts from their guests who attended the wedding. From flowers to household items, there will be lots of gifts that have been left at the reception venue. As the best man, it will be your role to help ensure these get delivered to the bride and groom’s home. It may be the case you have to go pick them up another day from the site.

Best Man Tips and Tricks

Still feeling a little overwhelmed? We’ve got a few more tips and tricks to help you be the best man you’ve always dreamed of being:

  • Be Organised – To be a good best man, one of the main things you need to be is organised. There is a lot of planning involved when planning a stag do  in the run-up to the wedding and you need to ensure everything runs smoothly. From organising how to get to the ceremony on time to sorting out the stag party, you will need to stay organised to ensure you get everything arranged in good time. Therefore, make sure you organise the time properly on the run-up to the wedding and make a list of everything you need to do.
  • Be a Good Listener – Another important part of being a best man is being a good listener. Whether that is to the groom as you help listen to any of their concerns on the run-up to the wedding or even the bride who may need to explain things to you numerous times, you need to listen well. You are a supportive figure and are there to assist with the wedding.
  • Stay Calm and Supportive – You also need to make sure you stay calm with the stress that can occur at a wedding. As one of the most stressful things to organise, you should be a face of calm in amiss the chaos. Therefore, offer your support and try to keep calm even with the challenging tasks ahead of the wedding.
  • Keep the Speech Appropriate – As the best man, your speech will be one of the highlights of the day. And while you must deliver a killer speech, you do need to make sure it’s appropriate so that nobody is offended. It’s fine to add jokes or funny stories but make sure they are appropriate for the crowd and suitable for both the bride and groom.


The role of a best man is a challenging yet rewarding role. From making sure everything runs to plan to make sure the groom is feeling supported, your role requires compassion, care and organisation skills. There are lot of support you can get to help you with your role including planning the stag through stag do companies like Stagmadness, liaising with the maid of honour regarding wedding arrangements and relying on support from the other ushers. Do remember that the groom has asked you for a reason and you will pull it off as a great best man.

PRO TIP:Do check with the groom whether he wants to organise the stag or whether it’s going to be your responsibility.


What makes a good best man?

A good best man supports the bride and groom in the run-up to the wedding. Offering advice, support and help, you will help to ensure the wedding is extra special and memorable for the bride and groom.

What should I plan for the stag do?

It’s important to think about what the groom would like for his stag do and think of some stag do ideas. Whether he is into adventurous activities or would prefer a night out on the town, make sure it’s suitable for him as well as the rest of the party.

How long is the perfect best-man speech?

You should make the speech around 5-10 minutes long as you want a memorable speech without going on for too long when others are speaking too at the wedding.

How can you be a great support to the groom?

Keep checking in with him on the run-up to the big day to make sure he is doing good and see if there is anything you could help with to help him unload some of the stress.

Veronika Tomasikova

Stag expert since 2019 Veronika has dedicated herself to exploring and sampling all the adrenaline-filled activities, bars and clubs to ensure only the best make the cut! With over 3100 Bachelor Parties organised her know-how guarantees an Epic trip!